The Circle of Friendship
Prepare for Launch
get ready with these Helpful Resources
James 1:19; Prov. 12:15; 18:2, 13
“The Bahamas”
There's an old Steve Martin bit where he plays an “Absentminded Waiter.” As he takes a couple's order, he slowly drifts into a happy daydream. "Sorry," he says, "I just went to the Bahamas."
I wish I could say I've never “gone to the Bahamas" while someone spoke to me. But good listening requires more than just paying attention. Everyone needs a circle of friends who care what you're thinking, what you're going through, and what you have to say.
Listening is one of the purest expressions of love and connection.
THE BIG IDEA
A friendship is like a conversation in its give and take. Do you listen like you're "genuinely concerned" (Phil. 2:20)? Becoming "quick to listen" and "slow to speak" (James 1:19) can take a lifetime of work. But it rewards you with stronger relationships as people realize they matter to you. The poet John Fox writes, "When someone deeply listens to you it is like holding out a dented cup you've had since childhood and watching it fill up with cold, fresh water. When it balances on top of the brim, you are understood. When it overflows and touches your skin, you are loved."
Job's three friends had long speeches for him, but he wanted someone to hear him. "Oh that you would keep silent," he said, asking them to "listen to the pleadings of my lips" (Job 13:5-6). Later, he sadly told them, "miserable comforters are you all. Shall windy words have an end" (Job 16:2-3).
Try to understand what someone else is saying before you tell them your take (Prov. 18:13). You don't have to agree with everything someone says, but listening shows your regard for a person and their thoughts. Fools think they're always right and love sharing their opinions, but wise people listen to other perspectives (Prov. 12:15; 18:2), recognizing thinking partners as one of the great blessings of friendship (Prov. 15:22).
How can you get more curious about a friend's world?
THE BIG QUESTION
Listen Up
Care Enough to Listen
INTRODUCTION
Launch the study with a CONVERSATION STARTER on the Big Idea.
Read or watch “The Bahamas” (above). ICE BREAKER — Get everyone engaged and talking.
Are you ever guilty of the friendship filibuster?ACT I
LIKE THE TEACHER — John 8:1-11
What’s the main point of this passage?What insights and applications do you take from these words of Christ? What do we need to get from these words that — if understood and applied — has the power to bless and strengthen us?Is there anything else here you find helpful or interesting? Anything you’ve never noticed before — or have always loved about these words?
ACT II
HERE’S THE STORY — Eli Jumps to Conclusions (1 Sam. 1:3-20)
How would you summarize each section of the story outlined below?• 1 Sam. 1:3-8 and Intro• 1 Sam. 1:9-13• 1 Sam. 1:14-18• 1 Sam. 1:19-20 and the AftermathWhat is the main application you take away from this story?ACT III
REACH OUT — Connect with each other with this question.
How has poor listening impacted your friendships? And how does it change when someone listens well?WRAP UP
THE CHALLENGE — Ready to put it into practice?
Focus your conversations this week on asking good questions and listening to the answers.REQUEST — Go to God in a closing prayer.
"Lord, help us to be quick to hear" (cf. James 1:19).NEXT SESSION — Listen Up
Prepare by reading John 15:12-17; 21:15-19; Prov 11:3, 13