"The Longest Non-Answer"

PODCAST
Written By Bryan Schiele

EPISODE 169

Search the Scriptures for Answers

We ended last week’s Ask the Geeks episode with a “to be continued,” and this week we pick it right back up with our final two listener questions. We start with a big one … what does Jesus say about divorce and remarriage? Then we consider what it means to “visit orphans and widows” today. They’re heavy issues worthy of serious thought and prayer. We’re grateful for the listener questions and we hope the discussion contributes to your understanding of these topics.

 

Takeaways

The Big Idea: The Bible doesn’t answer every question, but it does hold the answers to life’s most important questions.

This Week's Challenge: Identify any Bible questions you have and search God’s word for their answer.

 

Episode Transcription

In last week's bad adventure we saw a riddler at large again, a riddle for a clue, a rare old book stolen. But wait, the most terrifying is yet to come. Well hello everyone and welcome to Bible Geeks Weekly Podcast. This is episode 169. I'm Bryan Schiele. I'm Ryan Joy. And thanks so much again for coming back from our cliffhanger episode on the last Ask the Geeks conversation we've been having here. And yeah, we were just talking about on the last episode some very deep and important questions that you the listeners have passed along. One of those questions was is prayer without action considered hypocrisy? And the second question we dealt with was how do you deliver a sermon without notes? And here we're going to get into our third question, as we said last week, this is a difficult question. And this question has really stumped a lot of people. So we're gonna get into this question here in our Ask the Geeks series. - Listen to these riddles. Tell me if you interpret them as I do. What has yellow skin and rights? - A ballpoint banana. - Precisely, Robin. The only possible meaning. - The only possible meaning. (laughs) Well, this question is maybe a little heavier than that one. I'm kind of glad that you drew the short straw for it. No, I'm interested to hear your thoughts on this. It's a really important subject. What do we need to understand from the Bible about divorce and remarriage? So again, this is one of our listeners questions. Brian, what does scripture tell us about this subject? As we do on all these episodes, we like to start with something that Jesus said. And it is fitting, I guess, that we are going to go to something that Jesus said in Matthew chapter 19 as a way to kick this thing off. But I think passages like Matthew 19 really have a lot of the answers to these questions. Help us to see what marriage is all about and why it's so important and how to deal with these issues about divorce and remarriage. You can totally get why people ask these questions because there's a lot of false teaching on these things. There's a lot of twisting of the scriptures that happens around these discussions. So I think when you go to passages like Matthew 19 though, you get a really solid handle on what Jesus had to say about this and God's original intention for marriage as he talks about there and answering this question about divorce and is it lawful to divorce your spouse for any reason, Jesus goes back to the beginning and says that God's original intention for marriage was that a man and a woman would be joined together for life as if they were the same person, the two becoming one flesh. They're joined together in this way. And so that's a powerful picture for me. And it highlights how important that relationship is. And Jesus starts there. He starts with how there's this unity and that this unity between a husband and a wife is deeper than just that love and that affection and fondness that you have for your spouse. What God had created in marriage is deep and meaningful. And actually, as Paul would go on later in Ephesians chapter five to talk about near the end there in verses 28 and 29, how he would talk about the relationship that a husband and the wife have with each other. And he says that in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. So this kind of dovetails into what Jesus was saying there in Matthew 19, but then he says, "For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it just as Christ does the church. And then he sort of unveils the mystery there in Ephesians chapter five, that what he's really talking about is Christ and the church. This relationship between a husband and a wife really parallels, it's a type of Jesus with his church. And so we can see the kind of unity and bond that should be there, that should exist. But I guess the question really wasn't about marriage, was it? The question was about divorce and remarriage. - But you can't understand divorce without understanding marriage. - 100% agree. - It made sense to start there. - And that's where Jesus starts. So, okay, we've started with marriage and the importance of marriage, and then he goes on in verse nine to get to the meat of it, and he says that divorce is only allowed when your partner is guilty of sexual immorality. That's, again, a very challenging verse. It seems so simple, and honestly, I would contend that it really is simple, that this verse means what it says, and Jesus is very clear about this. He says, "I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another, commits adultery." And so that's very clear, Jesus lays it out there. And so that's a point that we need to understand here, that divorce is really only allowed when this sexual immorality has occurred. But then we start to see how the innocent spouse is free to remarry after this. the spouse who has not been sexually immoral is free to remarry, but the one who has been sexually immoral, that spouse cannot remarry without being guilty of adultery. And that's what Jesus is talking about here. I say to whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another, commits adultery, this one who has gone off to be sexually immoral is not allowed to remarry without committing adultery in that case. So what if somebody gets divorced for another reason? Again, you're gonna find all these what-ifs and all these scenarios. And Matthew chapter five actually is where Jesus deals with this question. What if a couple gets divorced for a reason that has nothing to do with sexual immorality? What happens then? And so Jesus covers this and he says that these two divorced people, when they remarry, if they haven't divorced for the reason of sexual immorality, if that wasn't a factor, they're adulterers. That's what he says there. If they remarry after they've divorced, then they commit adultery, as he talks about there in Matthew 5 verses 31 to 32. That includes even their new spouses that he talks about there. If they marry someone else, then that person who marries them is now guilty of adultery. So because there's only one reason for divorce, it's a big decision. And if you have to ask yourself, what do we need to understand from the Bible about divorce and remarriage? I think that what Jesus is saying here in Matthew 19 verse 10, as his disciples sort of wrangle their brains around what he's saying here, Yeah, it's a big decision. It's a big commitment. And so you really better make sure you know what you're doing before you say, "I do." It's a big commitment. It's a lifelong investment of your ongoing time and love and attention to your spouse like they were your own flesh. And so totally get that marriage is a sensitive issue and that divorce and remarriage are a sensitive issue for so many people. And it's because of that real deep emotional attachment and these family relationships that people so often are gonna try to twist and contort the Bible into saying what would agree with their own situation. And I've seen this so many times, and it really is hard for some people to just trust what the Bible says. And when we simply go back to what he says here in Matthew 19 and Matthew 5, and plenty of other passages, it's really simple, but again, it's really difficult sometimes to settle in on what Jesus says and take that seriously. - Yeah, it is such a subject that comes up so often. I feel like I've had more conversations, more studies, more deliberating and working through difficult scenarios that are real, not like imaginary hypotheticals with people just trying to work through it and study through. But Jesus is clear in what he declares. And that's what we'll be judged on. There's this subject with a small number of verses, million specific situations, but what we have here is enough. And the most shocking idea, both now and in Jesus time is that someone who's married could commit adultery with their spouse. Yeah. That's just such a crazy idea. And in Jesus time, in Jewish circles that he's speaking to, this was a challenging idea. There were two different rabbis that were really popular and one of them taught this, but it was a pretty shocking idea. And so this statement in Matthew 19, nine really forces us to recognize that if we remarry after divorcing for some other reason, then what Jesus says will commit adultery within that marriage. It is a really hard saying and one we want to lead people through with clarity, but also with compassion. Because unlike who wrote Hebrews or some of the other silly things we've talked about souls are at stake with this subject is a big deal. And so we want to get our teaching right. We want to get the situations properly applied from the scriptures and handle this issue with a lot of care. You know, of course, this is really heavy. And of course this impacts a lot of people, but again, I think it highlights the reason why this is a conversation that we need to have with our young kids early and unfortunately, when it comes to the point where you have to deal with it in a conversation about divorce and remarriage. Hopefully, maybe we could have headed that off at the past by having this serious conversation about marriage in the beginning and how beautiful it is, how wonderful it is, how serious it is, really helping shape people into looking for the right kind of spouse who will take this as seriously as they do. - Well, it speaks to something we didn't bring up is the biblical concept of covenant. And when you enter a covenant that God is the witness to, that is as serious as it gets. And basically it comes down to the two covenants of our life is our covenant that we make with God when we commit our lives to Him. He'll be our God and we'll be His people. And then if we choose to get married, this is a covenant that as Malachi 2 says, God is the witness and He joins us and makes us one. What God has joined together, let no one take apart, as Jesus says. And there's some million different situations. There's a lot we didn't talk about, not just situations, but there's a lot of other biblical teaching. But I think you really got to the heart of the matter there. - Hopefully this has helped. Obviously, if there's further questions, if you really wanna dig deeper into that, please reach out. Biblegeeks.fm/contact, we'd love to get in touch with you, help answer some more questions about this topic. But let's get into maybe our fourth question in our Ask the Geeks series. Again, I would say maybe we're lightening the moon a little bit, but I don't know. The question four here, the final question we're gonna tackle, it's also pretty powerful, pretty deep. So one of our listeners wrote in and asked, what does visiting orphans and widows look like in our modern world? Yeah, that's a really good question. Something that maybe you might relegate back to the time of James and the first century when all these things were written, but what does that look like now in 2023? - Yeah, so absolutely, like you said, It goes back to James, and I just wanna say, if this is lightning in the mood, if this is your idea of an icebreaker. - Oh no, no, no. - I feel like we're diving into the waters here again. But it is a really important subject. James 1.27 says, "Religion that is pure and undefiled "before God the Father is this, "to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, "and to keep oneself unstained from the world." I think this goes well with the prayer hypocrisy question we had in the last episode, as James is talking about that idea. I mean, James talks a lot about action and don't just have prayer without action. And he's talking about religion, real religion here that actively helps those in need. You can't have a true relationship with God if that's not a committed part of your life. And the Old Testament often talks about bringing justice and care to what the Bible often calls the fatherless, just another term for orphans, and to widows and to other groups like the sojourners among them, those who aren't from that community. - Throwback to Ruth. - Yeah, there you go. Or like Deuteronomy 1429, Ezekiel 227. We recently had a podcast where we referenced Isaiah 1 and what Jesus says about, you know, come though your sins are a scarlet, that will be as white as snow, and he challenges them there to plead the case of the widow and to bring justice to the fatherless. These were the most vulnerable people in their community, even more than now, where, you know, at least now there's some social programs to give some protection and support, but then there was nothing. There was just people looking out for someone they had no relationship with just because God said to do it. And that's what we're still meant to do. Jesus summed up the law and the prophets in that famous sermon that you're talking about earlier in the Sermon on the Mount. He gave us the golden rule in Matthew 7 12. So what would I want someone to do for me if I was a child without parents, if I was a widow with no real means of support coming in, if I was somebody, you know, with no safety net, no help, and just trying to survive in a situation that seems hopeless and helpless. And the encouraging truth on all of this is that Christians have impacted the world with this very kind of thinking, the kind of thinking we find in the Old Testament, the kind of thinking that Jesus challenges us to have and that James challenges us to have. Here's an example, a really disturbing example. It was common and accepted in ancient Rome to throw babies away, just throw them out into the trash heaps that they would have. And there are stories of Christians in the early church climbing through those burning trash heaps to find those babies and take them in. And orphans still need taken in today. And I know a lot of families, you know a lot of families who have made this a central part of their lives. And it's something I think I have a pretty good sense that you have probably thought about it. You've probably talked to Sherrilyn about it. I know we've thought carefully about it. You find yourself in these conversations about, as we try to figure out how to best serve God right now, this is something that we have to keep looking at at different stages in our lives. But I don't want to paint it as if adopting or taking in foster children is the only way a Christian can have pure and undefiled religion. We don't want to put all of the work in that basket. We might support those who are doing this work. We know that the decisions they've made takes a lot of resources. You can lend a hand with groups that are doing this kind of work. Sacred Selections is one that I know we've, you know, a lot of people in the church here, the church there have had some connection with. There are also kids who may have parents, but live their lives basically spiritually, emotionally, directionally on their own and need someone to take an interest and invest in them. I mean, let's not zero in on orphans and have us too narrow of a definition of it. And then there's our kids. And something somebody brought up to me a while back is one thing you can do that's just an almost obvious responsibility of caring for your own kids is putting together a plan so that if you passed away, your kids aren't just out there with no plan for where they're gonna go and who is gonna care for them. That there's some something put together that you have thought about that and tried to put them in a good situation. I love that you highlight all those resources too, just from the standpoint that there are so many ways to get involved and of course not only with a lot of the organizations that do these kinds of things or even the support of people who are actively involved in these organizations or in adoptions or whatever. But like, yeah, opening up the picture and opening up the view and the lens to see that there are other young people around us who may just be in need of sort of a compass. It is. And I think that if we can learn to have the kind of heart that Jesus had, Jesus looks surrounded the world and he's just moved by compassion. Sometimes moved to do a miracle because that's what he was there to do. Sometimes he was moved to teach or to pray. There's moment that I brought up in the last episode where he tells the disciples to pray for workers and it comes from him looking at the crowds and seeing them, it says harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. And the more we have that kind of a lens through which to look at people around us and needs around us, it just becomes something where you're too busy doing what you can and trying to help whatever way you can. That can be overwhelming. I wanna mention, widows still need attention and care today too. And I just had a long conversation with a sister who isn't sure what to do about her car. And it's just this very specific thing. And I've had, I think, two or three conversations with her now about this. And her main need isn't financial. That's a part of it, but she really wants someone to help her think through what she should do with her old car. And should she fix it? What kind of car should she get? What does she have the room in her budget to handle? Can she handle alone? How big? So all of these things and you know, we're talking and we're trying to figure different things out and it's all again, just every situation is specific. That's one widow in one particular situation. But my point is that it starts by trying to find out what's happening with people and being interested in them and being invested in them and just listening and asking questions and trying to be involved, trying to be with people and then trying to figure out what you can do. And maybe you aren't the person to help them with something, but maybe you can help them get to that person. Yep. Or maybe you don't have the money to give to them, but you could help them in another way. And I also want to just broaden it even from, we've talked about different situations with children and we've talked about widows, but the point isn't that these two groups are more worthy of attention than any other person in need, but that we're the kinds of people who look out for those who don't have anyone else looking out for them. And we could just build a list. You and I could start brainstorming here and list all the groups we could put into that kind of a list of the vulnerable and those who are really deeply in need. But once you start looking around at the world with that lens we were just talking about, all over in bad situations. This is not the kind of pull yourself up from your bootstraps kind of a situation all the time. The needs actually really are pretty overwhelming. It can really seem like a lot the more you think about it and I'm teaching a class on evangelism right now. And this to me feels like a similar problem because we look out at how many lost people there are and you can get to the point where you could look at that need and just become so overwhelmed you stop looking for ways to share the gospel because how much of a difference can I really make I only know a handful of people I'm only gonna interact with a handful of people and even when I interact with them what are the odds that I can actually that they're interested I mean they know what I have to sell and all that kind of stuff or you can look at that and just have this weight of guilt about it that you're immobilized by that. And you're just carrying around this. I'm not a real Christian because I can't make as big a difference as I need to make just all of these things that I see people all twisted up in knots of guilt, paralyzed by fear, paralyzed by a sense of overwhelm in all, both of these areas. Really. But what the Lord wants us to do is to stay alert and look around for ways we can make a difference. It's like, get in the game. Just get to work, you know, maybe you only affect one life, but that's something. And when James says later in the book to him who knows to do good and doesn't do it, it is sin. The point isn't that you're sinning if you don't do all the good that can be done in the world. But when you're looking for the good you can do and you see it, your conscience tells you the right thing that you should do. But then you just, I'm deciding I'm going to avoid what I know I need to do. That's sin. That's what James is talking about. And so we have to stay alert and love and look out and not design our life to avoid that sin, but design our life to be obeying the two greatest commandments and loving people and all of this, of course, steps on my toes. And it was really helpful to me think about this question. And honestly, I am not sure if I answered it or if that was like the longest non in the history of Answers, but that, I was really trying to be direct and step into what I see in that passage and in applying it today. It also might be worth inviting our listeners to suggest other specific ways that they see to visit widows and orphans. We all have a little bit different lens, like I said, that we can see some needs that maybe someone else is missing, and so I would love to get that feedback. But what else do you see here? I totally agree, just stepping back. I think you did answer the question very well, honestly, because there are so many ways. We can be paralyzed by fear that we're not doing enough, or we can be paralyzed by guilt that we're not doing enough, or we can be so afraid to get involved because we're not sure what's gonna happen, but there are ways that we can help, and there are ways that we can look out for people who are in need. And I think that's the whole point here. It's living with other people in mind. That is the epitome of what Jesus is teaching us throughout his life. as he wraps a towel around his waist and begins washing people's feet. That is the mindset he wants us to have. Equip yourself with that same mindset that you get down on your knees and you serve people. And who is it that needs my service? Maybe it's not a widow. Maybe I don't know a widow. I can't say that. A widow is living in my house. So this really hits home for me. So even this whole conversation is like, you know, directly related to what I'm going through right now. But who is it around me that I can give my time and my energy or attention to. Who can I help? Who can I support? Who can I serve? And kind of like those Old Testament farmers, like what corners of the field can I leave for other people? And so making time, setting things aside so that I can be ready to serve other people. But like you said, please, if you have resources, if you have information, if you'd like to share some more about this topic with the rest of the group and we could pass it along, and please reach out to us and let us know maybe if there's other ways that we can be of service today in the lives of people that are in need. - Yeah, we would love to have you reach out to us and share your thoughts on this question and all of these questions, but that also leads into our final question, a reach out discussion question here. ♪ Reach out, reach out and touch someone ♪ - So here's our question for today. Brian, what's a question you've wrestled with in the last year or so. - All right, you're getting to the meat of it. - We don't just get to be the question answerers, we have to be the question askers sometimes. - I mean, if the episode hasn't been heavy enough talking about divorce and remarriage and widows and orphans, now let's talk about something that we've struggled with. I don't know, I was thinking about, in answering this question, going back to our training wheels series last year and how parenting has definitely been on my mind. And when you've got a tween in the house, It's like, whoa, we're really trying to deal with all the changes and everything that's going on. And with all that foundation, I think that we laid really well with the Training Wheel series though. I've been thinking a lot about how much freedom we give our daughter and how much control and monitoring we do over what she does. And it's not really like a Bible question, but it is an important one for us. And something we've been wrestling with for the last year. So trying to figure out now that she's getting older, now that we're trying to give her privacy, trying to give her space, but also at the same time, we need her to know that we're watching and this is our house, to feel safe, comforted by that fact, but also to know that we're not gonna just turn a blind eye to things. And if it were up to my wife, I know that she would totally lock Ashlyn away in a tower, like Rapunzel to keep her innocent and pure and disconnected from the world. So much stuff going on in the world today, especially with kids, and she's an educator. She sees these things all the time, and she just wants to keep Ashlyn locked away and obviously that's one extreme, but we totally can't go the other direction where we just let her loose and free. And there are so many parents out there who do just that, that just don't have any connection with their kids, don't give them any guidance. And so it's really scary to think about finding the right balance and keeping her away from things that she might run across online, things that she might run into with her peer group. And I know how much I wanted to fit in with other people when I was her age. And so I think for us, that's been one of the big questions. Like how much control do we assert? How do we keep her sort of protected, but also monitoring things? And so we have recently installed a monitoring program on her iPad. It's called Bark. I don't know, I'm sure everybody knows about it, all the parents out there, but like we put Bark on her iPad. We've done a whole bunch of things in terms of limiting her screen time and giving rules on her devices and things, but like as cautious as we were to like go into that conversation, we really didn't want her to feel like We were taking away her freedoms and things, but we also were really impressed, I think, with the fact that she was willing and open to that, and she saw it as like, oh, no big deal. It's not a big problem for us to be monitoring on things. And there have been questions that have come up, things that have popped up in response to some things that have happened on this service, and we've brought it up in conversation. Here, what is this? What is this message about? Who are you talking to in this way? And it's just always these conversations that so far we've had have been seeming to be really positive. And I know obviously she's not like into the super teens yet. So just wait for it, hold on, I'm sure. But I've been really impressed that she's been okay with us spying on her, for lack of a better word. I don't know. That's the question I've been wrestling with. I don't know. What about you? - Well, that's a good one. Definitely something that's always front of mind for us too. And I appreciate you sharing what you've been thinking about with us. I have been wrestling with something that you lightly touched on, I think, in the answer to our first last episode, and that's this idea of God wanting us to partner with Him by praying for things that are already His will. And it's, this is a different kind of wrestling. I mean, I've just been thinking about it a lot lately, and I've thought about it several, you know, I go through periods where I think about this a lot. Every time I get into thinking about prayer, I end up face to face with this question, and why does he want that? Why not just do what he wants to do? Why do I need to be part of this? And of course, it definitely changes me when I'm a part of it, and that's part of the answer. But the testimony of scripture is that it also changes things outside of myself when I pray like that and God wants me to have this responsibility of unleashing His power into the world by praying this stuff. And there's no silver bullet answer to this that I've found in any of the times I've wrestled with it, but every time I do, my prayer life grows and I find it a really enriching thought process to just go back and connects with so much of what God says and does in scripture. I mean, going all the way back to the garden and why are people tending to the garden? You know, why does somebody need to tend to the garden? This is God's sacred temple garden where he's walking around and dwelling, but he always has been partnering. He made us in that beginning to be his representative, his image bearer, to have dominion. And I guess prayer, I think in that kind of partnering goes with partnering with him in evangelism and caring for widows and orphans and all the things we're talking about. It's just a riddle that though I don't find the answers, I'm benefited by the questions. So I thought maybe that was a good one to go with a question and answer episode. That's a deep one. Yeah. Well, I think what you're saying there is when you pray, he wants you to pray for the things that he wants you to pray for is kind of maybe a different way to answer that. And then it happens because you prayed for it and he wanted to answer your prayer. But he already wanted it and he knew what I was gonna pray, you know, all of those things. And so just the idea of why is prayer so important? Why does God want to bless the world through our prayers rather than just blessing the world? - All right, that's a lot of questions, lots of discussion, maybe a few answers sprinkled about in there every now and again. So let's get into our challenge for this episode. I am ready to face any challenges that might be foolish enough to face me. - So again, this is a two-part episode and we didn't have a challenge last week, but the challenge here for this whole section, Ask the Geeks as we've been doing for the last two episodes, is to identify any Bible questions that you have and search God's word for their answer. It's kind of a really basic challenge, but I think there's a lot of depth depending on what you have questions about. - Yeah, there's different kinds of questions too, right? I mean, it's like the Hebrews question that we talked about or whatever. - And the belly buttons. - And the belly buttons and all that. There's questions that are like, oh, that'd be interesting to know, or questions that, oh, I know we'll never know, but I would love to know. And then there's things that feel important that you feel compelled to answer, or you feel bothered that you don't have the answer to, 'cause maybe you need to either understand something or even to do something, but you're not exactly sure what that is. And those are the ones you really want to take seriously and recognize there is an answer for those kinds of questions. And I used to be so lost in a sea of my questions because questions are a big deal in my life that I would be affected in my faith by it. And so this became a really important practice for me. I think I've talked about it before to just list out questions. And I would list so many questions But then I would set that aside and I would start listing the things I know, because the things I was asking questions about felt bigger than what I knew. And then I would start to identify a foundation for myself again on the things I know, you know, that I know that God loves me. I know who God is. I know who Jesus is. I know Jesus rose from the dead. I know that I'm saved through his blood, you know, and just listing those things gave me a ground to stand on and then to start picking out, "Okay, let's just start working through one at a time these questions that I have." And eventually, I found a different place to stand through Bible study, through conversations like this with wise people who are disciples of Christ, students of Christ and His Word. And I just want to encourage everybody to foster the flame of curiosity and to have some confidence that you can understand the scriptures. You can find answers. It's not always absolutely clear. You can know what God wants you to know. You just have to keep searching and keep accepting the answers that the Bible gives to you. Going back to challenging ideas like the marriage divorce issue, accept the answers that the Bible gives even if it doesn't fit your preconceived ideas or what you want it to say. Eventually, if you settle into that, you'll find peace and blessing in these answers. Yeah. And going back to where we started this thing out last episode in 2 Timothy 3 verses 14 to 17, the man of God is going to be complete, equipped for every good work. Everything that you need to know, everything that you need to have in order to live a fulfilling life and a fruitful and effective life, that's going to be there for you. You'll find it when you dig in. And if it's not there, if it's a did Adam and Eve have belly buttons kind of question, it's not going to be there. And that's okay too. So thanks everyone for tuning into the Bible Geeks Podcast. You can find us on our website at BibleGeeks.fm. You can find show notes for this episode and the previous one over at BibleGeeks.fm/168 and/or 169 respectively. Thanks so much everyone for tuning in. And if you have questions also, please reach out and contact us at BibleGeeks.fm/contact. And until next week everyone, may the Lord bless you and keep you Hello? [MUSIC PLAYING]
Bryan Schiele
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