"Built to Bend"
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Imagine a few hundred thousand people crammed shoulder to shoulder on the Golden Gate Bridge. Their immense weight slowly flattens the gently curved roadway. Will it buckle from the pressure? Well, that's what happened on its 50th anniversary, when the iconic bridge welcomed 300,000 pedestrians to cross. Fortunately, the bridge was built to bend. And that same "bend but don't break" approach can help us lay a stable foundation for our kids. Rather than pushing them past their breaking point, the Lord teaches us to train them with wisdom, patience, and love.
The Big Idea
When discipline demoralizes our kids, we do more harm than good. Scripture commands, "do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged" (Col. 3:21). Other translations say not to, "antagonize" (NASB), "embitter" (NIV), or "aggravate your children" (NLT). Our decisions, words, and approval bear so much weight with them, and we have to carry that influence responsibly. If we aim to "bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" (Eph. 6:4), we won't compromise on God's standards. But his compassion needs to lead us just as much as his justice.
We all need room to fail and still find love and support. The purpose of discipline is training, not punishment, so our discipline needs to prioritize our child's growth and wellbeing. If we humiliate them, don't be surprised if they stop learning whatever we intended to teach them.
Christ gives his disciples a challenging way to respond when we feel angry (Matt. 5:21-26) or attacked (Matt. 5:38-42). We don't get a pass on a Christlike response just because they're our kids. Parenting can get overwhelming. We're so invested in our aspirations for our kids, wanting them to have impeccable character. But if we expect perfection, we hold them to unreasonable standards we can't live up to ourselves. That's a lot of pressure! Let's aim to offer our kids the same grace, patience, and gentleness God offers to us.
The Big Question
Does your love for your child show even in discipline?
